


Bucky's Hit Show

by RogueWolf



Series: Vampires, Avengers, and Jarvis, oh my! [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bucky is a vampire, Bucky's misadventures in the 21st century, Gen, Red Room makes vampire assassins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-13
Updated: 2015-09-13
Packaged: 2018-04-20 16:02:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4793693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RogueWolf/pseuds/RogueWolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One of the worst things about being a vampire, Bucky realizes at the last second, is when people can't see you in their rearview mirrors.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bucky's Hit Show

**Author's Note:**

> Blame withasideofangst for this one. She sent me a prompt and then fwoosh! This appeared.

If Stark hadn’t been there, Bucky would have been able to slink home in silent disgrace and nobody would have been the wiser. Instead, he got to come home to his teammates doubled over in the entertainment area, tears in their eyes, as they laughed themselves silly. Bucky’s misadventure was showing on the big screen that covered one of the walls, and he was just in time to hear the dull thump thud as the car hit and then rolled over him.

_“Oh my god! Jack! What did you hit?”_

_A door slammed and a young man, a teenager really, came to peer around the rear bumper and then underneath the SUV’s back tires._

_“Sarah, there’s nothing there,” he called back. “Maybe we hit a rock?”_

“Oh, you hit a rock alright,” Barton wheezed out. Tony high fived him and Bucky groaned.

_“Are you sure? That didn’t seem like a rock.”_

_“Sarah,” Jack rolled his eyes. “There’s nothing here.”_

_He got back in the SUV and continued to backup. It was quiet for a few seconds then there was another thump thump and the SUV jolted up. Sarah screamed and through the driver window you can see Jack turn pale._

_“You said there was nothing there!” Sarah screamed._

_Jack just sat there, stammering. He took a deep breath and was about to say something when outside the window…._

_“Son of a bitch…that hurt like a motherfucker. Don’t you punks ever look where you’re going?”_

_Jack and Sarah both screamed and Jack hits the gas. The SUV reverses so fast that it rams into the picket fence behind them. Jack and Sarah look at the spot where their car used to be._

_Bucky is standing there, dressed in his black skinnies and white tank, now an alarming shade of brown and red from the dirt and his blood. His hair's a mess, leaves everywhere, and there is an obvious tire mark on his cheek._

_“Guys, hey, it’s fine. I’m fine. Why don’t we just-”_

_Jack and Sarah scream again and then they take off down the road, smoke trailing out behind them._

“‘You’re fine?’ Nice job ignoring the blood everywhere, Buck.”

Bucky glares at Steve, who’s sitting there turning pink from suppressed laughter. “You’re a jerk,” he tells him. Steve, Barton, and Tony burst into laughter. Natasha and Bruce are trying to be nice, but Bucky can see how their eyes are brighter than normal. Thank his lucky stars that Thor isn’t here. That would be even worse.

He rounds on Tony, poking him in the chest. Tony looks down at Bucky’s finger, as if he’s surprised to see it. “Why did you record that? **How** did you even record it?”

Tony smiles smugly. “I’ve got eyes and ears everywhere, babyfang.”

For some reason, the nickname causes the team to burst into fresh laugher, and Bucky throws his hands up. “That’s it. Next time you guys can get run over.”

Barton blinks up at him, wiping tears from his eyes. “Sounds like fun. Too bad everyone can see us in their rearview mirrors.” Bruce chokes on a chuckle and it sends Barton and Tony off again.

Bucky glares at them all and Natasha takes pity on him, rising from her seat to give him a light kiss on the cheek. “Don’t worry, they’ll calm down.” She looks up at him, her trademark smirk tugging at the corners of her lip. “But as a reminder….” She grabs one of the – cleaner – grease rags from Tony’s belt loops and scrubs at Bucky’s forehead and cheek. “Try to wait until the tire marks fade before popping in next time.” She kisses his cheek again and then settles herself onto the couch primly.

Bucky stares at them all, and then bares his teeth at them in a hiss. Tony blows him a kiss back and Bucky rolls his eyes. His team was full of idiots.

  


**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this little short. I'm already thinking of more plot ideas, so I'm planning on posting more stories :D 
> 
> As always, kudos and comments are loved.


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